You’ve done Christmas, you’ve done new year, now it’s time to relax into 2025, yes? Not if you have children in Singapore! No sooner have you packed away the tinsel and finished all the turkey sandwiches, life becomes about daily schedules and endless laundry. Whether your child is starting a new term, a new school year, or a new school altogether, what is ultimately an exciting time can quickly become anxiety-inducing for both children and parents. But it is possible to navigate through the newness with positivity and aplomb. Paula Brunning, a counsellor at The Counselling Place (thecounsellingplace.com), shares her insights on how to ace the transition period and help your child thrive as they start a new term.
“Creating routines can limit school avoidance or complaints”
Get prepped
“Preparing children for a new school year helps them to focus on learning,” Paula says. Depending on their age and the changes ahead, begin planning a month in advance, with general conversations about what lies ahead. Mark the first day of school on a calendar. For younger kids, counting down the “sleeps” until school starts can help them understand the concept of time. “This makes the wait more tangible and gives them something to look forward to,” Paula explains.
• Positive conversations: Begin discussing school expectations and feelings early. Use open-ended questions with your children such as, “What are you looking forward to this year?” This encourages them to express their thoughts.
• Visual aids: Create a countdown chart or a list of fun activities leading up to the first day. Engaging visuals can make the transition feel like fun.
• Routine setting: About two weeks before school commences, practice your morning routine. This includes waking up at the same time, getting dressed, and preparing meals together, so your child knows what to expect.
Navigate transitions
Transitions can be challenging, and your own comfort level around the situation will influence your child’s feelings. “Open conversations are crucial,” Paula says. Validate your child’s emotions by acknowledging their fears. “It’s natural to feel nervous about new things, but focusing too much on what is going to be different may elevate worries. Be sure to also point out the many things ahead that will stay the same.”
• Explore the new environment: If your child is changing schools, take a tour together. Plan the walk or bus route. Familiarise them with the layout of the school, including key areas like the playground, cafe, and classroom. This will help to demystify their new surroundings. For older children it can be helpful to spend time together browsing the school’s website, looking at photos and talking about the things that look interesting and cool.
• Encourage questions: Create a list of questions your child has about school, and explore the answers together. This could include asking about lunch arrangements, recess activities, or the names of their teachers.
• Practice scenarios: It’s normal to go through a pattern of behaviour that may include anxious questions, so you can invite your child to suggest ideas for handling their concern. For example, talk about how they made new friends last year, and ask them what would help them be ready to do the same this year? Role-play common situations, like meeting a new teacher or making small talk with new buddies. This can build their confidence and prepare them for real-life interactions.
Encourage excitement
Children tend to have the wonderful skill of focusing on the present, but getting them excited about the future school term is important. Involve them in preparations to ignite their enthusiasm. “Shopping for uniforms and school supplies can make them feel engaged and valued,” Paula suggests. Discuss their favourite memories from last year and what they hope to experience this year.
• Choose supplies together: Getting a backpack, filling a pencil case, or discussing a picture drawn during last year’s class that’s still on the fridge are great ways to get children into the right mindset for the new year.
• Celebrate learning at home: Reinforce that learning happens everywhere by exploring new skills together, like cooking, crafting, or skateboarding. Highlight how fun it is to learn new stuff, connecting it to what they will do at school in the months ahead.
• Create a learning corner: Set up a spot at home where your child can do homework or read. Personalising this area just for them with their favourite colours or items will make it more inviting.
Address anxiety
If your child shows signs of stress, be patient and understanding. “A level of nervousness is normal and healthy,” Paula says. “Help them to express their feelings and remind them of past successes, which can provide reassurance.”
• Normalise their feelings: Do not say, “There’s nothing to be nervous about!” Use phrases such as, “It’s okay to feel jittery about meeting new friends.” This validates their emotions and makes them feel understood.
• Focus on plus points: Highlight previous transitions that went well, reminding them how they enjoyed a new activity or loved a certain teacher. Encourage them to think about what they’re looking forward to.
• Do story time: Offer to read stories together that reflect characters overcoming school-related challenges. This can help your child see their fears in a different light, learn how to settle big feelings and act in brave ways. See p59 for great book ideas
• Consider professional help: If your child has experienced something that might make them more alert to danger, consider seeking professional support so they can process their feelings and enter new situations without apprehension.
Create a routine
Hands up who didn’t want to go to school as a child?! Many of us can relate to that feeling, which makes school a source of stress. Creating routines so there’s a set of actions to be followed each day can limit school avoidance or complaints. “Providing a student with what to expect is vital,” Paula notes. “Schedules provide stability, especially around meals and bedtime.”
• Involve them in the process: Work together to create a morning checklist that includes everything from getting dressed to packing their lunch. This makes getting ready feel more manageable.
• Think kind: Be creative in considering what would make it a little nicer for your child if they need some additional reassurance. Maybe they can carry a note from you in their bag, or you can plan for a preferred activity when they get home, such as a play-date or outdoor swim before dinner.
• Wind-down time: Establish a calming bedtime routine that includes reading or quiet time to help them settle down before sleep. This is crucial for ensuring they get enough rest.
“Your own comfort level around the situation will influence your child’s feelings”
Monitor adjustment
Noting how your child is coping with the new school transition is key. “Unsettled sleep or changes in appetite can signal worry,” Paula warns. Create space for daily check-ins to discuss their experiences.
• Quality time: Establish a nightly routine where you can ask open-ended questions about their day, such as, “What was the best part of class?” or “What most challenged you?”
• Body language: Pay attention to their reactions when discussing school. Look for signs of stress, like fidgeting or withdrawing, which could indicate underlying anxiety.
• Encourage expression: Provide different ways for your child to express their feelings, whether through drawing, journalling, or chatting. This can help them process their emotions.
Self-care for parents
As a parent, maintaining your wellbeing during this busy time is essential, too!
• Set aside time to prepare and stay informed about school events.
• Build a support network with other parents. Share experiences, advice and tips to ease feelings of isolation. Consider joining or forming a parent group that meets regularly.
• Make time for yourself with activities that rejuvenate you. This could be a walk, a call with a friend, or meditating on your balcony. Taking care of your own mental health is vital during this busy time.
• Embrace the journey! Transitioning back to school can be an emotional journey for families. Remember, you’re in this together. With the right strategies, you can turn this potentially angsty period into an opportunity for bonding and growth. Go for it!
