Parenting: it never stops. No sooner have you navigated a small person through the trials and tribulations of childhood and their tweens, they want to go on holiday without you. They become wildly giddy about escaping, while you just feel . . . wild.
“Travelling without parents is a mark of a maturing young person and a common way that teens begin to step out into the world,” explains Paula Brunning, Counsellor at The Counselling Place (thecounsellingplace.com). But just because your child has grown up travelling, it doesn’t mean that they will automatically understand or have the skills for independent trips.
Breaking solo travel down will ensure logistics, planning, cultural awareness, personal safety, and a knowledge of the importance of Factor 50 sunscreen are all covered so your teen is well-prepared. Read on for Paula’s guide.
Monitor Mindset
Being psychologically prepared to travel alone for the first time requires an adaptive mindset, an ability to manage anxiety, and sensitivity to cultural differences. “If a teen can adjust their expectations, they’re more likely to have a rewarding experience,” says Paula. “Travel isn’t always perfect, and that’s okay. Encouraging them to embrace challenges and see them as part of the adventure rather than obstacles is important.”
An adaptive mindset involves managing expectations. Teens who realise there will likely be some difficulties along the way – whether navigating unfamiliar spaces or handling logistical tasks – are less likely to feel frustrated or disappointed. Setting expectations that everything may not go smoothly, but that the experience will still be enriching, sets them up for success. Paula continues, “Travel involves unpredictability, and it’s best to approach it with flexibility. When expectations are too high, teens can feel deflated when things don’t go according to plan. But when they are mentally prepared for bumps along the road, they are able to adapt and enjoy the journey.”
Get Talking
Fostering open dialogue is essential so that parents can offer guidance to kids without being overprotective. “Use active listening to validate your child’s emotions,” recommends Paula. “Demonstrate trust and ensure that pertinent conversations take place beforehand (not when they’re on the beach in Zakynthos). Share your concerns by creating a chat that allows your teen to share what they know, think, or can investigate prior to their travels to become more informed.
Boost confidence by telling your teen you believe they can manage this, and discuss scenarios to promote problem-solving skills. Ensure they have useful information readily available and that they’re involved in planning for insurance. Check that emergency information (medical care, consular contact details, accommodation information, home contact details), is in hand and that details are stored in at least one place other than their phone.
Paula continues, “Let them know that you have their back and can be an emotional anchor for them while they’re away. Explain that you’ll be there for them unconditionally if something goes wrong. If you travel, lead by example and share the steps you take on your trips, sending updates on safe arrivals and communicating in a way you’d like your teen to.”
Safety Matters
Ensure your teen understands hygiene practices and potential health risks in specific regions. It may be advisable to get vaccinations before travelling and to follow local habits, such as eating only fruit they peel themselves, avoiding ice in drinks, and so on.
Being substance-aware is crucial, especially if your teen uses any substances, including alcohol. Discuss the risks of accepting drinks from strangers, and advise them never to return to a drink they’ve left alone for any reason. Buying only sealed, branded items is one way to stay safer.
Sex education should cover consent, protection, birth control, and health-related issues like STDs. Encourage them to learn about local customs and laws to avoid misunderstandings. Paula says, “Sometimes, terrible things happen. Be frank and open about safety risks, both obvious and subtle. Use news articles, travel advisories, and other resources to discuss issues like substance use, personal security, and the locations they’re visiting.”
Importantly, encourage your teen to trust their instincts about people and situations. Ensure they have a plan for what to do if they feel unsafe, including having emergency contacts and knowing how to call local authorities. “This will provide them with confidence, reassurance, a more worldly outlook, and a feeling that ‘you’re in it together’ before they head off,” Paula adds.
“Building awareness of homesickness, culture shock, and frustration is key”
Maintain Communication
Have a discussion about what communication will look like while your teen is away. Be clear if a text will do, or if you want a video call. Depending on the circumstances, time difference, frequency of moving and other factors, how often will it be reasonable to communicate?
Plan for scheduled check-ins to avoid being intrusive. Know your teen’s itinerary so you can prompt for pre- and post-arrival confirmation. Request that they share their location with you or a friend, especially if they’re deviating from an itinerary or building one as they go. “Another great idea is a group chat,” Paula continues, “Setting one up, especially if friends are travelling together, provides an update in a simplified manner to all parents at the same time (and means you can all fret together!).”
Face Emotions
While the sense of independence can be thrilling, the realities of navigating new environments, managing relationships, and making decisions can be a bit daunting. “For many teens, the initial excitement of travelling solo or with friends soon gives way to the realisation that it’s more demanding than they expected. “Peer pressure often comes up when in a group. It’s hard for teens to go against the grain when everyone else is doing something, but it’s fundamental that they can voice their opinions and stand up for their personal choices, even when it’s awkward.”
Building awareness of feelings like homesickness and frustration is also key. “Culture shock is a real part of travelling, and it’s okay to feel unsettled. Understanding that it’s natural and acknowledging these emotional responses helps children to move through them more effectively,” says Paula.
In addition, decision fatigue can be an issue. From deciding what to eat to figuring out transport, it can feel overwhelming. Paula continues, “Teaching prioritisation skills is helpful. When teens know how to assess what matters, and make decisions that align with their goals, they can reduce the mental load of making constant choices. Ask them how to break down tasks and focus on what needs to be done in the moment.”
Look After You!
It can be hard to let go and allow your teen to move into being independent. Have realistic expectations of them and yourself. Get savvy about what’s developmentally appropriate for your teen and support them to reach these milestones. “When worries grip you, pause and consider whether they’re realistic,” suggests Paula.” Also, have your own person to talk with – your partner, a friend, or a therapist. Ultimately, focus on the growth of both you and your child. And give yourself a hefty pat on the back for raising your teen to be prepared and curious in life, while continuing to be a strong support for them.”
