“My life as a third culture kid”

“A few months ago in English class at the Australian International School (AIS), I had to write an identity poem inspired by a TED Talk. I chose one by Erik Vyhmeister called ‘Building Identity as a Third Culture Kid’, which he gave at St Andrews University in Edinburgh back in 2015. I was inspired by Erik’s words and how much his experience resonated with mine. Throughout his presentation, he explored what it’s like to grow up across cultures and forge an identity from fragmented cultural influences. I used his words as inspiration for my poem.

Writing it was emotional, but also kind of freeing. Having lived in six countries already, I think I’ve always carried these feelings, but never really sat down and unpacked them before. Writing them down helped me give shape to thoughts I didn’t even know I had – I felt like I was letting out things that I’ve been carrying quietly for a long time. Once I started, the poem flowed. I didn’t overthink it, I just let the memories come out as they wanted.

Feeling settled

Even though I’ve moved around a lot, there are moments from each place that I’ve lived that stay with me. Like the dry air in Qatar and the sand blowing in the wind. I remember the sound of rain in Brunei, like background noise that could drown out everything else. In Perth, I think of walking trails, sitting on a park bench eating fish and chips, or having Arnott’s Shapes on the beach. These places don’t always feel like ‘home’, but they’ve left strong impressions. They come back at random times – when I hear a certain song I used to listen to in a specific country, smell a type of food, or even a certain kind of weather.

It’s weird because being a third culture kid is normal for me, but when I stop and think about it, it’s pretty intense. I’m constantly saying goodbye to people and places, but you also learn to adapt fast. If I had to pick a favourite place, I’d definitely say Perth – it’s where I really remember making friends, going to school, and feeling settled, for a while at least. Plus, we go back to visit every year, and I catch up my older siblings and all the friends I made back in 2014.

Erina at Panaga School, Year 2, 2018

Different perspectives

People often think moving around and living in different countries is exciting and fun all the time, and yeah, there are cool parts, but it can get really tiring. Every time I move, I have to start over. I’m always the new kid in class, trying to figure out where I fit in. Making friends is hard because you know either you or they will leave eventually. Friendships feel temporary, like there’s a time limit.

The hardest part is not really knowing where I belong. I’ve lived in so many places, but I don’t fully belong to any of them. When people ask “Where are you from?” I never know how to answer. I get homesick for destinations that aren’t even my actual home! It feels like I belong everywhere and nowhere. Sometimes it’s exhausting to explain the whole “well I was born here, but I lived here and here and here” story. Although it does make for a good conversation!

Having said that, I do love that I’ve seen so many sides of the world already. I’ve learned to be open-minded, to understand different people and ways of life. Food, languages, traditions – I’ve picked up little bits from everywhere. It’s made me more curious and aware of how big the world really is.

Kiwi roots

I’m proud of how open-minded I’ve become. Living in so many locations has taught me to understand people from all kinds of backgrounds. I’ve learned to adapt, to listen, and to see things from different perspectives. I think that’s something not everyone gets to experience at this age. I’m also proud of how independent I am. Constantly starting over has made me stronger and more confident in figuring things out on my own.

I stay connected to my Kiwi roots by wearing my All Blacks jersey or New Zealand shirt, especially to support New Zealand during Rugby Sevens! On cultural dress-up days at school, I wear my NZ shirt too, because it feels like a strong and proud way to represent where I was born. It’s more than just a shirt, it’s a symbol of New Zealand’s spirit and culture. Whenever there’s a chance to express my Kiwi identity, whether it’s through sport, school events, or even just talking to people about New Zealand, I make sure I get involved. It helps me feel closer to my heritage to share a piece of New Zealand with others.

To other young people who feel like they don’t quite fit anywhere, I’d say it’s okay to feel like that. Not feeling settled in one spot doesn’t mean you’re lost – it means your life is connected to many places and people. And that’s kind of special. You get to create your own definition of belonging. I like that my story isn’t a simple one. It’s messy, but it’s mine.”

Below left: At TRC Touch, Singapore, 2023. Right: At AIS, Singapore, Year 9, 2025

Accents Of Me by Erina Maurice

I’m not from where I was born
New Zealand cradled me but I left too early
Since then I’ve been a moving dot on a map
A name on the school roll
A blur of “where are you from again?”
Laos was lullabies in voices I no longer remember
Perth the first place I call mine
Where the gum trees whispered my name into the wind
Then Brunei, where rain sang louder than people
And Qatar, dry air, and long silences that taught me how to listen
Now it’s Singapore, humid mornings, hawker smoke
And languages layered like the clothes I try on but don’t always fit
I’m full Kiwi by blood
That’s what the passport says
But who I am is stitched from every place I’ve been and every person who’s been around me
I’m not one thing
I’m like patchwork
A collage of accents
A name that never settles
I’m from everywhere
Yet nowhere
When I’ve lived in so many skins none of them feel like home for long
Somedays I stand still and feel the echo of the places that no longer know my name
Homes I’ve left never seem to miss me
And the ones I enter never feel right
Maybe I don’t belong anywhere
Maybe I’m meant to float to notice
Or I’m meant to carry pieces of the world in my chest like quiet treasure
Not rootless, just differently grounded
Not lost, just wide