What’s Singapore’s dating scene really like?

We’re told that “love is all around”, but is it really? Violet Lim, Singapore’s go-to expert on matters of the heart, has spent 21 years helping singles meet their match, making her the city-state’s number one dating authority. As CEO and Co-Founder of Lunch Actually Paktor Group (lunchactually.com), she has witnessed firsthand the evolution of the red dot’s dating scene – from the (decidedly retro) meeting in a bar to today’s swipe culture – and guided thousands through the twists and turns of modern romance. As this is the time of year when a sprig of mistletoe can strike at any moment, Violet shares her insights on finding love in Singapore, and advice on making heartfelt connections, no matter what time of year.

Left: Violet Lim knows everything about love in SG

The love landscape has evolved enormously. What are the biggest changes you’ve seen?
When Lunch Actually launched in Singapore in 2004, dating was largely done through mutual introductions and in-person meetups. In 2025, dating apps dominate. What’s both fascinating and concerning is how singles often judge potential partners on superficial attributes. A photo can make or break a connection before anyone reads a profile, and conversations have become “mini-dates” in a phone chat, where every emoji and message is scrutinised, often leading to ghosting or misunderstandings before a face-to-face meeting even happens.

What are the main challenges singles here face today?
Time is a huge issue. Singapore’s fast-paced lifestyle and long working hours make it difficult for busy professionals to prioritise dating. For locals, societal expectations can add pressure, particularly when balancing career goals with relationship timelines. Many women who are highly educated and financially independent are seeking partners who are equally driven and aligned in values. Sociologists call this the “education squeeze,” where top-tier educated women and less-educated men struggle to match.

Are the challenges the same for foreigners in SG?
For expats, navigating cultural nuances is key. While Singapore is cosmopolitan, understanding local dating etiquette can be daunting. That’s where matchmaking services like ours help to bridge cultural and compatibility gaps.

What are some cultural nuances?
Singaporeans can be reserved initially, but sincerity and consistency go a long way. Understanding the importance of family, education, or emotional subtlety within our culture can make a big difference in making a relationship work. Be open, respectful, and patient. Sharing local experiences like trying hawker food or learning some Singlish can help to bring people together.

What’s a key misconception about dating on the red dot?
That love should tick every item on a checklist. While it’s important to know what you want, being overly rigid can hinder your chances of meeting someone. We often meet singles who dismiss great matches because they don’t tick off all their “must-haves” like height, income, or education level.

Your latest 2025 survey revealed an increase in men being open to dating older women. Why is this?
More men are drawn to older women for their maturity, independence, and depth. Women are also redefining relationship standards, prioritising compatibility, communication, and emotional intelligence over age, income, or social expectations. In addition, evolving gender roles means that relationships are increasingly based on mutual respect and alignment, rather than traditional norms.

Which age is leading this shift?
The 25–44 age group. Twenty eight percent of men aged 25–34 and 36% of men aged 35–44 are increasingly open to dating older women. This generation places more value on emotional connection and shared life goals than on traditional power dynamics. It’s a promising trend for more inclusive and fulfilling relationships.

Age-gap relationships still come with stigma. What would you say to those concerned about this?
Focus on the strength of your bond. Age is just a number when you’re in sync in values, goals, and emotional compatibility. Remember, your relationship is between you, not the world. The more we normalise love that defies outdated standards, the more others will follow.

“A genuine and valued relationship starts with being the best version of you”

What other trends should singles keep an eye on?
Over the past two to three years, we’ve noticed a renewed appetite for authenticity. We’re seeing a shift towards intentional dating. Singles are tired of endless swiping and want deeper, more emotionally attuned relationships. Another trend is the focus on personal growth with more people investing in themselves – through image consulting, dating coaching, and emotional intelligence workshops – to become better partners. The transition from “finding the right one” to “becoming the right one” is powerful and refreshing.

How has Lunch Actually evolved to accommodate the changing dating scene?
We’ve come a long way from arranging lunch dates for professionals. Today, we offer a holistic dating ecosystem: personality profiling, coaching, image consulting, and curated offline events, all backed by years of experience and data. In 2025, our approach is more tailored and strategic, leveraging technology while keeping the human touch. We help singles to not only find a date, but understand their dating blind spots, build confidence, and learn how to form long-term connections.

What’s your best advice for those looking for love right now?
Be clear, be intentional, and don’t wait. Know what you’re looking for, but stay open to people who might surprise you. Self-awareness and personal growth are crucial as a genuine and valued relationship starts with being the best version of yourself.

What are some underrated ways to meet new people in SG?
Organic connections are definitely making a comeback. Volunteering, niche workshops, professional networking events, or wellness retreats are all great ways to meet like-minded people. Cafés with communal tables, bookstores, and co-working spaces also provide opportunities for more natural interactions. The key is to be present, approachable, and open to conversation – you never know when or where love might find you!

What still excites you about matchmaking?
The unwavering hope people have in love. No matter how the dating landscape evolves, people still crave real, lasting relationships, and that never changes. What really keeps me going are the success stories I hear every week from newly matched couples, from amazing marriage proposals to what we lovingly call LABs – Lunch Actually Babies! Our BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) is to create one million happy marriages in Singapore, and every couple we bring together is one step closer. This is what drives me, and what makes my journey so meaningful – even after more than 21 years.